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Dear Cosmo and Wanda, Where do you live? – Computer
Dear Computer, We live in Timmy Turner’s fishbowl in a magical underwater castle. From your friends Cosmo and Wanda
Dear Cosmo and Wanda, Why does my math get harder and harder? – Timmy
Dear Timmy, Your math gets harder every year because you keep learning new things, and as you get older things will be harder. Every time you learn a different kind of math it will be a little more difficult then the last one. Just keep practicing them until you understand them. From your friends Cosmo and Wanda
Dear Cosmo and Wanda, Why can’t I win the lottery and collect 1,000,000,000 dollars? – Jack101
Dear Jack101, First of all you have to be 18 to play in the lottery, and second of all, lotteries never actually go up to 1,000,000,000. When you turn 18 though go ahead and try for a few 1,000,000 dollars. From your friends Cosmo and Wanda |
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Riddles I soar without wings, I see without eyes, I’ve traveled the universe to and fro, I’ve conquered the world, Yet I’ve never been anywhere but home. What am I?
What is black when it’s new, Red when you use it, And gray when you throw it away?
I can sizzle like bacon, I am made with an egg, I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg, I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole, I can be long like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole. What am I?
I am the only thing that always tells the truth. I show off everything that I see. I come in all shapes and sizes. So tell me what I must be!
Word Puzzles
“A snowball sentence,” said Mr. Jones to his daughter, “is one in which each word is one letter longer than the preceding word. Do you think you can construct such a sentence?” The daughter thought for several minutes before she said, “I am not that smart, father.”
Prove that the daughter was smarter than what she said she was.
Little Tommy fell off his tricycle and bumped his head so hard he was knocked unconscious. When he came to, he spoke perfect French. How come?
I bind on she hank it forth too is thy bust.
If you change one letter in each word, it will make a sentence that is a well-known proverb. .
“No hat, a smile,” describes a famous painting. If you rearrange the letters, they will spell the name of the painting. What painting is it?
Jokes
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way.
One day in class, Mrs. Johnson pulled Joe over to his desk after a test, and said, “Joe, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.” Joe was astounded and asked her to prove it. “Well,” said Mrs. Johnson, “ I was looking over your test and the question was, ‘Who was the first president of the United States?’ you said ‘George Washington’ and so did Mary.” “Well everyone knows that he was our first president” said Joe. “That might be so, but the next question was ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.” “Well I read the history book last night and I remembered that one” interjected Joe. “Wait, wait,” said Mrs. Johnson, “but the next question was ‘Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?’ Mary put ‘I don’t know’, and you put ‘me neither’.”
There once was a monster named Fred, Who used to eat garlic in bed; His mom said, “Son, That’s really not done, Why don’t you eat people instead?”
Grandfather: When I was your age I could name all the presidents in the right order. Grandson: Well sure, when you were my age there were only six of them!
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From Left to Right Back row: Zach Miller, Bailey Witherspoon, Braedon Blasic. Next Row Down: Molly Quinn, Cassie Zimmer, Madison Konkol. Next Row Down: Andrew Britton, JJ Mackowski, Alyssa Linden Next Row Down: Kaylee Williams, Madeline Ruzak, Nick Scrimenti |
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Provided by Z.Miller |
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SLS Hot Off the Press Staff |
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Editors: JJ Mackowski Nick Scrimenti
Lay Out: Braedon Blasic Zach Miller Madeline Ruzak
Staff: Andrew Britton Madison Konkol Alyssa Linden Molly Quinn Kaylee Wiliams Bailey Witherspoon Cassie Zimmer
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SLS HOT OFF THE PRESS |
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MORE STUFF |
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EYE ON EIGHTH GRADE |
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COSMO AND WANDA |
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Where’s Mrs. Stalsky?
Did you look for Mrs. Stalsky yet? Remember, she is hidden somewhere in this issue and a prize will be given to one of the lucky people that find her! If you find her, put your name, homeroom, and in which article you found her picture on a slip of paper and put it into the “Cosmo and Wanda” box outside the office. Please get all entries in by May 12th. After which, we will perform a live drawing from the correct answers on May 13th during the afternoon announcements. Thank you! |
